Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Thursday, November 7, 2024

Capital of the World

Kurt Vonnegut referred to New York City as “the capital of the world” in passing, in Palm Sunday. The United Nations is headquartered there, so it makes sense in that regard. Immigrants came to Ellis Island, seeing the Statue of Liberty. King Kong attacked the Empire State Building. Terrorists brought down the World Trade Center as a symbol of American financial power, but Wall Street still functions in New York City. Who hasn’t heard of its five boroughs: Manhattan, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island? Or neighborhoods like Greenwich Village, Harlem, Bed-Stuy, SoHo? Or Central Park, Chinatown, and so on.

You can feel you are in the most important city in the world when in New York City. As Sinatra sang, “If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere” in a “city that doesn't sleep.” It may not be the cleanest or safest place on earth, but you feel like things are happening there. New music. New ideas. New people. New technology. New adventures. I have visited New York City eight times, and each of them was an adventure. The cast of characters includes my family, friends, actors, comedians, musicians, artists, and authors. I will describe them all, spending the most time on my sixth visit in 1984. I hope you enjoy reading them at least a fraction as much as I did living them.

My first time in New York City was in February 1972 in honor of my younger brother Nathan’s tenth birthday. I was 11, and we took the train with our dad from Washington, DC, where we lived. (See Boys’ Trip: New York City 1972, which is a transcript of my handwritten diary of that trip.) My second visit was during my senior year of High School. I was editor of the Wilson High School Beacon newspaper and went with a group of journalistic classmates to a Columbia University conference on high school journalism. It was March of 1978, and we took the train from DC. My notes from that trip have references to partying we somehow found time to do. 

In December of 1979, I was a sophomore at Northwestern University, at home in DC for winter break. I took the train to New York to visit my new girlfriend’s family on Long Island. I went from the train station to meet her at a Manhattan hotel where her father had arranged a (possibly charity) concert by Tony Orlando and Dawn. I got to see a few songs before they finished, including “Knock Three Times” and “Tie a Yellow Ribbon.” It was weird because I went to see The Who the night before at the Capital Centre near DC. At her parents’ house, her father showed me the first Sony Walkman cassette player I had ever seen or heard of. I think he may have given it to me.

On July 6, 1981, my band, The Front Lines, played at The Ritz in Manhattan. We were on a self-booked “East Coast tour”. You can read about that at Strejcek.net/bands.

In July of 1983, I took a Greyhound bus to New York City, visited my high school friend Gabriel, whose family had moved to Brooklyn, then took the train to DC. I played The Front Lines single for Gabriel and his younger brother Jem. Jem was impressed and/or skeptical that it was actually my band. The band was almost history by then. In the evening, we walked around Greenwich Village with beer cans in paper bags, which was legal (or winked at). Concealed carry? We saw comedy elder statesman Henny Youngman (king of the one-liner) standing outside the Comedy Cellar or some such club. Gabriel said something to him and Henny’s retort was clever. Too bad I can’t remember either line. Walking near Times Square, I bought counterfeit batteries at a table on the sidewalk. It was a tourist rite of passage in NYC. To be clear, I didn’t know the batteries were counterfeit when I bought them. I can’t be sure this happened on that trip to the city. The last four lines sound like a joke without a punch line.

However, my most memorable – and at my age that means something – visit was in May of 1984. I was two years out of college. The band I had been in had broken up. My college roommate Neil had gone to LA for a PR job, and had returned to Evanston, having lost weight and gained a leather jacket, driving a Volvo P1800. Roger Moore drove one in the 1960s TV show The Saint. After some time, we both had somewhat stable jobs.

We decided to go on a road trip to New York City and Washington, DC. We would visit two friends separately. He would stay with his college friend Rob, and I would stay with Gabriel. We would continue to DC so I could attend the wedding of my friend John Berger. We didn’t have lots of vacation, so it would be a long Memorial Day weekend, leaving Tuesday night after work, returning on Memorial Day. Three vacation days, two weekend days, one holiday: almost a week!

However, we would not drive the P1800, but in Neil’s Chevy Citation, handed down by his aunt. It was just as well. Neil and I had a double date once, going in the P1800, my date and I sitting facing each other on the back seat, which was really a shelf. It was a sporty car designed for two, not four. 

   
Left: Neil and his P1800, c. 1983. Right: an old Chevy Citation ad, not Neil’s blue two-door.

Tuesday, May 22, 1984:

After our respective workdays, Neil picked me up in the Citation. I didn’t have a car. We both still lived in Evanston. We drove to the old Thai Hut on Devon Avenue in Chicago for dinner. We wanted some spicy food to keep us awake. We drove all night from Chicago to New York. I assume we took turns, sleeping fitfully in shifts, chatting, listening to mix tapes on the car cassette player.

As we approached the New York City skyline (which still had the World Trade Center), we listened to “Feats Don’t Fail Me Now,” by Little Feat, on the car tape deck:

Don't the sunrise look so pretty,
Never such a sight
Like rollin' into New York City
With the skyline in the morning light
Roll right through the night 

We had rolled through the night and were seeing that skyline in the morning light. It was really quite cinematic and still vivid in my mind’s eye. It was now:

Wednesday, May 23, 1984:

Neil and I separated in Manhattan at lunch time. He took the car and met Rob for lunch. I took the subway with Gabriel to Brooklyn, where he lived with his parents.

I think I slept on the couch. I don’t remember dinner. I think I was exhausted.

Thursday, May 24, 1984:

In the morning, Gabriel and I took the subway into Manhattan and Times Square. There was a tent-looking set-up with railings to keep people in line. It was TKTS, where you could buy same-day tickets to Broadway shows. Like standby airline tickets, you picked from whatever was left (or left behind). We ended up buying tickets to Noises Off for that night, at 8 pm, for us and Neil and Rob.         

Gabriel, though living in New York, had not been up the Empire State Building. I had been there in 1972 (see Boys’ Trip: New York City 1972), so I convinced him to go with me. We may have walked there, which is not too far, but maybe we took the subway. In New York, the subway goes everywhere, and in Manhattan, many things are walkable.

On the way, we saw Linda Hunt on the street. We didn’t greet her or anything. She had won the Best Actress Oscar in ‘82 for The Year of Living Dangerously. It was remarkable at the time because the role was a Filipino man, and she was neither a man nor Filipino. I later found out she was playing Audrey Wood in End of the World at Broadway’s Music Box Theater.

We arrived at the Empire State Building. It was a clear day, and we went up to the open-air observation deck. I don’t remember it costing anything, but it wasn’t the $44 they’re charging now.

We met the Six Million Dollar Man on top of the Empire State Building. A film crew was there. An assistant director walked over to us and said that they were filming a movie and that we could stay there, just don’t look at the camera. Up walked actor Lee Majors, tall, hale and hardy in a Texas cowboy outfit. He said “It’s called The Cowboy and the Ballerina. I’m the ballerina, ha ha!” He tipped his cowboy hat and went back to do his scene. We walked over to the railing and looked out at the horizon. When we heard “Action!”, we made sure not to turn around.

Months later, I saw the made-for-TV movie on CBS broadcast TV. Sure enough, towards the end of the movie, there’s a scene atop the Empire State Building. For a second, you can see Gabriel and me in the background. You might even recognize us if you know what we looked like from behind forty years ago. Trivia note: Christopher Lloyd was in the movie, with a small part, this being the year before his breakout hit, Back to the Future. He was not present the day we were there.

After all that, Gabriel, Neil, Rob, and I went to see Noises Off, which was a successful comedy, in that not only did we laugh, but it ran for hundreds of performances and was nominated for a Tony award. Of course, if it had won, I would not have mentioned that it had been nominated. (Similar to how a beer that is “one of the top three beers in Japan” must be the third.) Anyway, in the first act, you see a dress rehearsal of Act One of a fictional stage play (Nothing On) where many things go wrong. In the second act, you see the same Act One, but from backstage, where more errors occur and nerves fray. In the third act, the same Act One completely falls apart. “Noises off,” by the way, is a scripted stage direction for the audience to hear offstage noise.

In late-breaking news, I learned that Noises Off was running at Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre through October 23. Coincidence?

Friday, May 25:

On Friday afternoon, we decided to go into the city to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom which had just been released. It was also near Times Square, where we saw a commotion. A group of people looked to be surrounding a speech or rally there. We tried to shoulder our way into the crowd to get an idea of what was up. Gabriel sees someone in a brown uniform and says maybe it’s some neo-Nazis. We finally got to see through the crowd that it was Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd in jumpsuits. There was a camera, and a small film and production crew.

It turns out they were filming part of the music video for the Ghostbusters theme song, a movie which would be released two weeks later, but of which we were unaware. Ray Parker, Jr. and the cast of Ghostbusters are in the video, which is mostly Parker and a female model and some scenes from the movie. At the end, Parker, Murray, Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, and Harold Ramis are walking in formation to the beat, lip synching. Murray does some fake break-dancing.

Then we went on to the movie theater. The second Indiana Jones movie was not as good as the first, in our opinion. Bugs instead of snakes. Kate Capshaw instead of Karen Allen. Thugees instead of Nazis. Child sacrifice instead of world war. A heart gets ripped out of a living person, which was different, and led to a new MPAA rating: PG-13. It was a prequel, and I have trouble now remembering the location. I had thought it was in China, but Wikipedia reminds me that it started there, but most of it took place in India. Like many sequels, it seemed to have a different purpose than the original.   

That evening, we saw Chicago’s Second City improv group perform at the Village Gate Downstairs. Their show was titled “Orwell That Ends Well.” It included some performers I had seen in Chicago: Meagan Fay, Rick Thomas, and John Kapelos; and Northwestern alum Richard Kind, among others. We thought we saw Treat Williams in the audience. Outside, I saw an old girlfriend and went over to say hi. She was there with her boyfriend, who was still inside. It was awkward. After we left, Gabriel says, laughing, “You are a wild man.”

“What?”

“You were humming ‘Torn Between Two Lovers’ while she was talking. More like singing it.”

Songs often subconsciously enter my mind at weirdly appropriate – or inappropriate – times. Sometimes it’s a blessing. Sometimes it’s a curse. I should have had that looked at.

Saturday, May 26:

Saturday morning, I said goodbye to Gabriel and his family and reassembled with Neil. Neil and I had planned to drive to DC, and Rob and another NU alum, Didier, decided to join us. It’s four to five hours to drive from New York City to Washington, DC. I had a wedding to attend in suburban Rockville, Maryland, that night at 7:30. We passed the time recounting our NYC adventures, then playing a memory game, which I don’t remember. However, Rob recently filled in the blanks for me. You start with a word, then each player adds a word, having to remember all the previous words, up to 100 words. One player sits out and writes down all the words as referee. My guess is that Rob was the winner.

The remaining memories of this adventure are sketchier, in the original meaning of sketchy, as in not fully drawn, but only in outline.

We arrived in northwest DC, near the border with Bethesda, Maryland. I directed us to a deli on Wisconsin Avenue there, named Booeymonger. In line, I said I would order a toasted poppy-seed bagel with cream cheese. Rob was doubtful that they could make it like the storied New York City delis. Would they use enough cream cheese? Yes, they laid a slab on each half. I dare say Rob was impressed.

I recommended the Jefferson Memorial, and we visited it. It’s a little away from the Mall, where the main attractions are – Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, Vietnam Veterans Memorial, the reflecting pool. Putting aside Jefferson’s own slave-owning history, his words carved on the walls, including part of the Declaration of Independence, can still affect me. Knowing his slaving past, some of the quotes are just puzzling.

I borrowed my mother’s car to get to the wedding, I think. I remember being at the wedding in Rockville, Maryland, but recall nothing about a meal or drinking. John and I are pictured below. I think I stayed at my mom’s house in DC, and Neil may have stayed with Didier, whose family lived in DC. Maybe Rob stayed there too. 

John Berger and me at his wedding.

John was the original bassist for The Lines (later renamed The Front Lines), whose story is told with haphazard detail elsewhere. He left Northwestern after freshman year and continued later at the University of Maryland, and now is Dean of the Energy and Materials Program at the Colorado School of Mines.

Sunday, May 27:

On Sunday, I had lunch with my dad, Barry, and Yvonne, his second wife, and Brendan, my half-brother who was three at the time. We went to the Smithsonian and walked around the Mall and environs. Brendan, 20 years younger than me, seemed more like a nephew at the time.

Monday, May 28:

I think I took a bus back to Chicago leaving DC at 1:30 a.m. That would get me into Chicago at 9:30 pm. How did Neil get back to Chicago? Did he drive Rob back to NYC, perhaps with Didi? It would take over 12 hours to drive from DC to Chicago. He can’t remember either.

Further New York Visits

Since 1984, I have been to New York City several times. In October of 1987, I was working at Paul Baker Typography in Evanston. Paul, vice-president Katie Houston, and I attended Type 1987, held by the Type Directors Club at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in Manhattan. This was back when typography and fonts were valued as an art form and not ubiquitous and taken for granted. On an open evening, Gabriel and I went to see The Princess Bride, which had just opened. We had driven from Chicago to San Francisco in July of that year, so I brought him a second copy of all the photos I took from our western adventure. He told me that he wished he had taken more pictures on the rest of his quest, which circumnavigated the continental United States, starting in New Haven. I think Gabriel should write about that.

Gabriel at the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, when we visited in 1987.

In July of 1988, I flew into New Haven, and with Gabriel, drove to New York. I had decided to attend the New Music Seminar, organized by College Media Journalism. I took demos of the band I was in then, Friendly Fire. I think I saw Northwestern classmate Scott Byron there. I picked up two promotional T-shirts of the Love & Rockets band. After that, we drove to Toronto, stopping at Niagara Falls, and stayed with a friend of his. We went to see Robert Gordon at a small club. My main memory is that Gordon arrived quite late, which apparently was normal for him. From Toronto, I flew back to Chicago, where my new girlfriend Cathleen was.

In April of 2009, I went to Long Island for the CA (formerly Computer Associates) Architect’s Conference. I never actually touched NYC, flying from Chicago to Philadelphia, then to Islip. There was a wonderful, somewhat unlikely, presentation by Benjamin Zander, conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra. Among the things he tried convey to us were: that in the problem of connecting 9 dots with 4 straight lines, we are often told to think outside the box, however there is no box; that modern orchestras perform Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony slower than the allegro con brio instruction, which Zander conducts faster; that Bach signed his compositions “Soli Deo Gloria” or “for God’s glory alone.” He shared that last tidbit after he had a student cellist perform a Bach cello solo, live in the room. He related some moving life lesson stories. He closed by having us all sing Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” a capella, and I think in German. He managed to loosely connect all of this to the creativity that software developers need to succeed. It was the most memorable workshop at the conference and one of the best music lessons I ever had.

Epilogue

Forty years later, Neil and I are still friends, still live near Chicago, and see each other now and again. At least once a year, except during lockdown. My wife Cathleen and I attended Neil and Edie’s first son’s wedding in July, and Rob was there too! Neil has had nine nonfiction books published, writes for the Chicago Sun-Times, and his daily blog Every Goddamn Day. Rob wrote and drew for years at Games magazine, and cartoons for The New Yorker. Gabriel has written one nonfiction and five fiction books, and teaches in the Writing Program at Pratt Institute, in Brooklyn, where he lives. Me, I went from studying journalism, to graphic arts and setting type, to database administration, to technical writer, to “technical materials developer.” I married Cathleen (see How I Met Your Grandmother), had two sons, and the first now has three sons, making us triple grandparents.   

References

Vonnegut, Kurt, Palm Sunday, Delacorte Press, New York, 1981, p. 319

Opening photo from iloveny.com.



Boys’ Trip: New York City 1972

My first time in New York City was in February of 1972 (Presidents Day weekend) in honor of my younger brother Nathan’s tenth birthday. I was 11-and-a-half, and our sister Mardi was only two-and-a-half, so she stayed home with our mother, Jody. We took the train with our dad, Barry, from Washington, DC, where we lived. I took notes, which are neither very deep nor descriptive, but I share them here verbatim, with a few bracketed explanations. Pictures of the diary follow the transcript. 

Diary of New York Trip.

Sat. February 19, 1972

AM 7:15 – We have boarded the train. Barry forgot the book on N.Y. and the map and schedule. Anyway we were lucky to catch the train. We thought there was going to be a blizzard the night before. The news said 6-12 inches of snow. In the morning it said 2-6 inches. Anyway it is snowing hard. 

Later\\ (8:30 ? 9:20) We went to the Snack Bar. Nathan stayed at seat. Barry got a coffee, and Nate and I got Cokes and Yankee Doodle cupcakes. I finished The Phantom of the Opera and read “The Magician”, from the book Ghouls. 

\\ We’re in the hotel now. In room 1240 and floor 12. It has 2 baths, 2 small beds, and a foldout couch – which Barry is sleeping on. 

\\ 10:00 now  The first place we went to was Polk’s Hobby Shop which we walked to from our hotel (Penn-Garden). Nathan got a B-24, a B-17 Flying Fortress, and a Lockheed SR-71. I got a B25B and a Tiger Shark [probably Revell plastic model warplanes]. Then we took a bus to FAO Schwarz. Then we went to a restaurant and had lunch. We walked to Lincoln Center. We saw a movie theater before (Paramount) and the movie was Patton. We decided to see the 7:00 show. After Lincoln Center we took a subway to 42nd St. We saw a lot of theaters. There was a movie called The Return of Count Yorga but we went to Playland [arcade of pinball, pachinko, animatronic fortune-tellers, and other pre-computer games] instead of it. We went to two of them and had a lot of fun. Then we went to see Patton. It was real good. Then we took a subway to the Hotel and ate in the Coffee Shop. Then we went to bed.

 

Sunday, February 20, 1972

We’ve checked out today. We’ve packed up. For breakfast I had an egg, toast, and grapefruit. Then we walked to the Empire State Building. It has 102 floors. [We did go to the observation deck.] Then we took a Taxi to South Ferry, where we took the ferry to the Statue of Liberty. [We did climb up to look out of the crown.] When we came out I tripped and hurt my knees. [Snow was covering a short curb.] It hurt my right knee all day. Then, after we took the ferry back, we took the subway to 42nd St., then walked to the U.N. We took a 45 min tour there. We had a sundae in their Coffee Shop. We took a Taxi to 42nd. We watched a movie called Murders in the Rue Morgue. They did a lot of head-chopping. Then we took the subway to Penn Central Station. I had a hot dog, french fries, and a Coke. The 7:30 train came at 8:22. Good night.

\\\\    It’s 11:45 or something like that. Pretty soon we’ll be home. 

\\\\    It’s 1:30 now. The train didn’t get home till 12:30. I’m home now and I’m going to sleep. Bye-Bye

THE END

 

[Actual photos of diary follow]



 




Monday, May 27, 2024

How I Met Your Grandmother

So, my grandchild, you want to know how I ended up marrying such a beautiful, intelligent, loving, caring woman, when I am… well, me. I’ll tell you the story.

Once upon a time, I went to Northwestern University. What I did not know was that your grandmother was there at the same time. We never met there. However, I did meet Phil, with whom I started a band, and who became my roommate in junior year. While we were at college, we went to parties, and at one party, I met her sister Mary Beth Cregier, whom I learned Phil liked. Nothing much came of that then, but several years after graduating (it was October 17, 1987), we were at the Beaumont, a bar in Chicago. Phil was ready to leave but I wanted to hang around a bit longer. Some minutes later, I nudged Phil and said “Don't look now, but Mary Beth Cregier” is here. I pronounced it Cree-ger, only learning later that it rhymes with Kier (which rhymes with beer), like “Creh-geer”. Mary Beth was there with her other sister Donna. I had not heard the term “wingman” before, but that's what I was doing. I tried to keep Donna entertained, who at the time was a gorgeous model and was sporting that bored, unimpressed look that so many beautiful women show when they are not interested. Phil and Mary Beth talked about her career in commercial photography, and his career trading options at the CBOE. Through some idea he had about making a calendar of the girls of the CBOE, he eventually started dating Mary Beth. I did not see Donna again for a long time. 

In the meantime, I dated some other women. At some point, Mary Beth tried to fix me up with a friend of hers. She, her friend, Phil, and I had a double date dinner. But we weren't really a match.

Phil and Mary Beth were a match and continued to date. When I was between girlfriends, I would be a third wheel out with them. Mary Beth would try to get me interested in her sister Cathleen. Sometimes it was a funny story. Sometimes it was how we were similar, or how I’d like her. But I wasn't very eager for another blind date. 

After another failed relationship, I was living in Chicago, on Broadway at Wellington, and decided to have a party. 

I invited friends, band members, and co-workers from Chicago and Evanston. I thought, here's my opportunity to meet Cathleen in a less pressured blind non-date situation. It was May 14th, 1988. She was gorgeous, which I don’t remember being told before. It should have been obvious because her sisters Mary Beth and Donna were too. Long, naturally curly reddish-brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a beautiful face accented by an effortless smile. What we talked about, I can't recall. She did later tell me that my long hair and interesting outfit made an impression. I was still in a rock band, so I had some interesting clothes. Anyway, the next thing that happened was a double date with Phil, me, and the sisters Mary Beth and Cathleen at the Charleston bar in Chicago.

When we met, I was working in Evanston as a typographer, reverse commuting via El train (with no car or place to park it). I was in a band named Friendly Fire. Cathleen had a Psychology degree from Northwestern, had worked as an ER unit clerk and a dispatcher at Regional Emergency Dispatch, then went to Rush University to get a Nursing degree. She was working as an RN at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke’s Medical Center, commuting in her used Dodge Aries K Car. (She would eventually get a Masters, then a Doctorate in Nursing, becoming a Nurse Practitioner specializing in Geriatrics.) 

Anyway, that first date went well, so we had some one-on-one dates, such as dinner at No Hana or Shiroi Hana. We went to movies. We had dinner with Mary Beth and Phil. My cousin Aaron was in Chicago, so we ate at The Yugo Inn and went to Max Tavern. Later in June, she took a longed-planned vacation to Ireland with her parents. For that, I made her a mix tape to miss me by, then I missed her for nine days. 

On my calendar for July 3, 1988, I wrote "Navy Pier" and "Love". We went for the fireworks. The next day, we went to Grant Park for a picnic with my cousin Aaron and Cathleen's sister Donna. Here we are:

Kier & Cathleen, July 4, 1988

By her birthday, July 12 (less than two months after meeting), she was ready for me to meet her parents. We went to their home in Harwood Heights for a birthday party. I don’t remember much about it, so it wasn’t a disaster. 

Sometimes I found myself looking for flaws in her beauty to try to explain why she was with me. Eventually, I learned that stunningly beautiful women attract narcissists and pathological liars, and otherwise normal men who will lie to impress someone they feel is out of their league. I was apparently not one of those, except for the out-of-their-league part. Or as my friend Neil, who was my roommate at NU freshman and sophomore year, said later about why our respective wives are with us, “because most men are a-holes.”

In time, I found myself writing “The Way I Do,” a love song for Cathleen. You can hear it on the Internet, assuming the website is still there. Just in case, here are some of the lyrics:

Is this feeling an illusory notion?
Do all my traumas fade away?
But they're the building blocks of my emotions
The past is always here to stay

The way I love you
I love you the way I do

Finally, an equilibrium of desire
An ideal intersection of our space
A symmetry in what we require 
Emotional progress at a logical pace

The last known romantic in a world full of cynics
Where everyone survives on his own
You're never more alone than when you've been together
You're never more together than when you've been alone

Okay, it's not a Shakespearean sonnet. I was in my twenties. One year later I wrote another song for Cathleen called "One Year Later," followed over the years by "I Still Need You," "Far Above Rubies," "Silver Lining," and the forthcoming "Nothing Can Separate Us." We even wrote songs together, such as “Healer of Our Hearts” and “Hope for You All.”

After we had declared our love for each other, I wondered if we should marry. I was somewhat leery because my parents had divorced. I mentioned that to my mother, and she said not to let that sway me, that anyway they had almost 20 years good years, plus three wonderful children to show for it. “Besides,” she said, “you’re not going to do better than her.” Neil echoed that sentiment. “You’re not going to meet anyone better who gives you the time of day.” 

Later I would marvel at how we had not met at Northwestern. Were we fated to meet? Was I always looking for her, but didn’t know it? Such is the romantic thinking of young lovers. 

So, I proposed to her in May of 1989, a year after we met. I knew she would say yes because we had already discussed who we would invite to a wedding if we got married. And planned the restaurant where I would propose. And the engagement ring. We then planned the wedding for the following year, on May 27, 1990. By the time of our rehearsal dinner, Neil said he had thought Cathleen was “one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, but that’s the least of her qualities.” We were wed in Chicago at the 2nd Unitarian Church on Barry Avenue, by a Catholic priest and a Unitarian minister. We had a wonderful two-week honeymoon in California: Half Moon Bay, San Francisco, Napa Valley, Yosemite National Park, and visiting my father Barry, his wife Yvonne, and my half-brother Brendan in Nevada City. 


Conor was born in 1992 and Liam in 1996. Your parents know the rest. 

Saturday, October 28, 2023

A Song for my Father

Barry and me in Chicago, c. 1987

Today, my father would have turned 91, but he died six months ago. In August, we went to California for the memorial service. I had to speak, and it went well. Eleven of us - my dad’s widow and his four children, their spouses and two of the four grandchildren - rented a house in Pacifica for four days after that. We had fun. Unfortunately, someone had come to the service with COVID and half of us got it. So, my wife and I came back to Illinois sick with it for a couple of weeks, but we’re all better now.

I thought some of you might be interested in what I said about my dad. First, for some context, I’ll quote the local paper for Barry’s obituary:

Barry William Strejcek, affectionately known by some at Rossmoor as “The Mayor of Oakmont,” died on April 29, 2023, at age 90 1/2, peacefully at home, from aging with heart disease and dementia.

He was born October 28, 1932, to Doris and William Strejcek and grew up in the Cleveland area. He attended Shaw High School, then Miami University of Ohio, then served in the U.S. Army in Germany during the Korean conflict.

He returned to earn a BA in political science and a master’s degree in labor economics, both from Ohio State University.

Barry married his first wife, Mary Jo (“Jody”) McPherson, in 1959. They lived in Ohio, Missouri, New Jersey, and Washington DC. Children Kier (1960), Nathan (1962), and Mardi (1969) were born to Barry and Jody. Their marriage ended in divorce.

Barry’s working life centered on civil rights and the common good. He was active in the Democratic Socialists of America, founded by Michael Harrington. His career was with the National Urban League, the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, and the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). Barry appreciated that the federal government gave him the opportunity to work towards justice and equality.

In 1976, Barry met Yvonne Schumacher when they were both working for EEOC; they married in 1980 in Washington DC. Their son Brendan was born in 1981. When Barry retired in 1989, they moved to Nevada City, California, where they were leaders of Sierra Foothills Unitarian Universalists in Auburn. They were among the founders and charter members of the UU Community of the Mountains in Grass Valley. Barry and Yvonne moved to Berkeley in 2004 for her completion of an MDiv degree at Starr King School for the Ministry, and then to Harrisburg PA, Boston MA, and Brighton MI following her parish ministry calling in the Unitarian Universalist Assn. They retired

to Rossmoor senior community in Walnut Creek CA in 2015. There Barry’s friendliness earned him that moniker “Mayor of Oakmont” as he would wave to every car driving by while walking his dog Sammy daily, schmoozing with everyone he met along the way.

His passing is deeply grieved, after nearly 43 years of marriage, by his wife Yvonne, of Rossmoor; also his children Kier (and Cathleen) of Naperville IL, Nathan (and Stacey Moye) of Washington DC, Mardi (and Alberto Muciño) of Arlington VA, and Brendan (and Chenbo Zhong) of Toronto, Ontario, Canada; also four grandchildren: Conor (and Laura), Liam, Locke, and Marissa, and two great grandchildren, Ellis and August. He was predeceased by great granddaughter Violet Joan.

Barry stood for human equality, believed in it fervently, and

worked for it all his life. He loved his family and friends. He had a great sense of humor; loved the natural world especially exploring national parks, hiking, and climbing mountains, visiting great cities, playing card and board games, watching TV and films, reading great books, engaging in schmoozing (especially political conversations), eating out, and most especially donuts, blueberry pie, and root beer.

Memorial gift suggestions: Equal Justice Initiative (eji.org), NAACP (naacp.org), The Alzheimer's Association (alz.org), or Threshold Choir International/Diablo Valley Threshold Singers (tci.org).

Deep gratitude to Suncrest Hospice staff, whose tender, skillful care for Barry was essential in his last months of life, enabling him to die at home in peace. 

And this is what I said at the memorial service: 
[If you’d rather listen, go to http://www.strejcek.net/barry-celebration-audio/col-audio.html]

Hi, I’m Kier, Barry’s eldest child by Jody McPherson. I’d like to talk about what my father handed down to me. 

Barry taught me to appreciate music, reading, movies, comedy, science fiction, politics, and sports. 

He preferred jazz and classical music, but had Beatles records, the Woodstock soundtrack, and Santana and Grand Funk Railroad records and 8-track tapes. He took me to my first concert when I was almost 14, which was Grand Funk Railroad, which was his choice. The second concert he took me to was Led Zeppelin, which was my idea. I returned the favor years later, taking him to see Czech composer Beidrich Smetana’s Ma Vlast performed in Chicago’s Grant Park. 

Barry took us to Washington Senators baseball games in DC. In 2006, I took him to a Cubs vs Tigers game at Wrigley Field with my kids. Barry rooted for the Tigers, living near Detroit with Yvonne at the time. The Cubs lost. 

He would take us to Hechinger’s hardware, Sears, and The Waffle Shop across the street for a treat, usually a hot fudge sundae, which I would “inhale,” according to the server. 

Barry helped me build model planes and cars and took us to hobby shops. He encouraged my HO train hobby and built an elaborate pulley system for a drop-down train table in the basement. He helped with building the mountain out of chicken wire and plaster. He built things in the house: a laundry chute; and a doll house and bunk bed/study for Mardi; parts of our kitchen; and a bedside shelf that I still use. He re-roofed the house, with a little help from us. 

He took us to movies, especially comedies, like the Marx Brothers, and Woody Allen. And of course, science fiction movies, and books. He read many books and lefty magazines, such as Dissent and The Nation. 

One of the first moral lessons Barry taught me was when I asked what a certain word beginning with “N” meant. The part I remember is that I shouldn’t play with anyone using that word. Harsh, I thought at age 6, but wise, as revealed in time. We had Martin Luther King Jr quotes on the fridge. Barry took us to see the King documentary in a DC theater in 1970. 

For Boy Scouts, he took me to hike a section of the C&O Canal. I had missed that part by getting sick in the middle of my Troop hiking the whole thing, from DC to Cumberland, Maryland. Nathan went with us. We had to camp out one night, and it rained so hard that our tent floor was floating on water in the morning.      

Growing up in DC, we went to protest marches. On May Day 1971, we marched against the Vietnam War. Many were wearing paper masks of Lt. Calley of My Lai Massacre infamy. 

When I was 12, in the summer of 1972, I was complaining about President Nixon and Vietnam, so Barry suggested that I volunteer for his Democratic opponent, McGovern. He volunteered to drive me to the McGovern headquarters on K Street to try it. We went and then I continued to work there on my own, and then at Watergate, but that’s another story

When I was 14, he let me use his Super 8 camera and editing equipment to make a short silent movie called “Revolt!” starring Nathan in long hair and one of Barry’s Army shirts, and a cast of local kids and toy guns. In 2005, I digitized that and his Super 8 home movies as a Christmas gift.

Barry taught me to drive, back when a Driver’s Ed class wasn’t a requirement, though he might not want to be held responsible for that. Our first test drive with Jody was… tense

Jody once said that Barry was a Democratic Socialist before Democratic Socialist was cool. In the 2016 Democratic primary, I voted for Bernie Sanders as a nod to my political heritage. Sometimes in my head I would confuse their names and think of Sanders as Barry Sanders, who was of course a famous Detroit Lions running back. And where is Yvonne from? Detroit. And Grand Funk Railroad is also from Michigan. Just sayin’. 

Barry drove me to college in Illinois in 1978, stopping at his parents’ retirement place in Ohio. It was nice to see my Strejcek grandparents. I didn’t know then that I would never see them again. That kind of separation can be a side effect of divorce. 

I made my peace with the divorce. None of the stereotypical “I never told my Dad I loved him” or vice versa. I wasn’t there for his final days, but was in DC with Mardi and Nathan. Two visits that mean a lot to me are: when I went visited several days with him at Sacramento’s Mercy Hospital after his big heart attack in 2002; and a few years before that, Cathleen, the kids and I were visiting Barry, Yvonne, and Brendan in Nevada City, and Barry got sick. While the others went to town, I sat with him and fed him soup. 

I do have one regret. I was supposed to call Silver Spring, Maryland during Barry’s 50th-birthday surprise party, but I failed. I was at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois at the time, playing guitar in a rock band at a Halloween party. My costume included one of Barry’s Army fatigues, and an Army Surplus gas mask. I was not feeling that well. Anyway, this was before cell phones, in the time of pay phones and long-distance call plans. Even with all that, I could have planned better. So, I apologize again, Barry. 

For Barry’s 60th birthday, in 1992, I wrote and recorded a song for him. I will not sing it now, but I will read it to you. [I have since made a slideshow video of the song: https://youtu.be/s5Iw7YjRChM.]

Handed Down (1992)

I remember protest marches
Where everybody had a dream
We'd get together and make things better
Eliminate war from the scene
A dozen years have passed in darkness
Maybe now we can redeem
What our souls were needing
As if our hearts were bleeding

You introduced me to Marx and Lennon
Of course I mean Groucho and John
Double features and weekend matinees
Woodstock or Woody would be on
No more sundaes at the Waffle Shop
Just like the Senators, it's gone
And so we too are distant
And though our visits are not frequent...

I hope I can hand down
What's been handed down
What's been handed down to me

I've always thought I had a happy childhood
That means that you did something right
Driving lessons and model airplanes
And more important what is right
Now I find myself where you were
Parenthood is such a fight
For sleep, for reassurance
To bring the past into the light

I hope I can hand down
What's been handed down
What's been handed down to me

I've had some help in learning my role
‘Cause every father is a son
When that son becomes a father
He's thought of what is to be done
Patience is not the highest virtue
Selflessness could be the one
And now I want to tell you
I think some battles have been won

I hope I can hand down
What's been handed down
What's been handed down to me

(I also posted these lyrics on Father’s Day 2019: https://www.thestrayczech.com/2019/06/fathers-day.html])

Monday, January 10, 2022

Punk Turns 60

A specific punk, that is. 

Punk music is not actually 60 years old. Even if you count Iggy Pop as the “godfather” of punk, he didn’t start the Stooges until 1967. But the punk that I know best, my younger brother Nathan, turns 60 on January 10.

We were often each other’s closest playmate, and nearest opponent. I was told that when he was a toddler sitting on picnic blanket for a home movie, I pushed him over in jealousy. I didn’t believe that until I saw the Super 8 movie.

Nathan and Kier with garden hose

Sometimes the competition was more subtle, as in the photo above. Sometimes it was worse, but usually it was more fun. We grew up in Washington, DC. We were in Boy Scouts, explored the wild areas of Palisades, played tag; rode bikes; went to Washington Senators baseball games with our dad; watched Redskins football; played disorganized sports, like tackle football in a vacant lot without equipment; laughed at the Marx Brothers, then Monty Python.

As adolescents, I would try to use logic, diplomacy, or humor to deflect bullies and arguments leading to fights. Nathan, however, stood his ground and ended up fighting enemies, and friends when necessary. One time, a neighbor had Nathan pinned on the ground until the neighbor’s older brother chased him off, while I did nothing.

I don’t mean to say Nathan was obnoxious or confrontational. Rather, he had a strong sense of right and wrong. He made friends with many of my friends, not to mention the neighborhood dogs. In fact, as young teens, we were both Washington Post paperboys. I was at war with some over-protective German Shepherds, but he was the pied piper of a multitude of local dogs.

Nathan with camera and long hair

In 1975, we made a 10-minute Super 8 action movie titled Revolt!, starring 21 neighborhood kids. It wasn’t a call to revolution but involved an unnamed foreign country and many toy guns. I think the police would stop us if we were doing it today. There was a script, but it was silent with title cards. I added unlicensed copyrighted music; therefore, you wouldn’t get its full impact on YouTube.

Also in 1975, I started a rock band (Ex-Calibre) with some friends, rehearsing in our basement. We played in a church basement, at a playground, and two elementary schools. We were bad. By the next year, my new band named Djant with Glenn Kowalski (7 Door Sedan) and Max Surla was practicing in my mom’s basement. We were somewhat better, playing Beatles, Bowie, Stones, Who, and Zeppelin.

Meanwhile, Nathan’s musical taste and mine began to diverge. We had both been fans of the above bands, but I drifted towards ELP, Yes, Jeff Beck, and Return to Forever, while he got into Iggy and the Stooges.

Then 1977 and the Sex Pistols appeared. Nathan played the album for me. I was struck by the urgent, angry political challenges in “Anarchy in the UK” and “God Save the Queen” - but not converted.

Nathan, whose hair was shoulder-length like mine, said he would get a punk haircut if he had to cut his hair. When he applied for a job at the Georgetown Swenson’s ice cream shop, he was told he would have to cut his hair. Next thing I knew, he had a short spikey cut, ready for some Dippity-Do. 

Nathan with short hair by the fridge
Nathan, age 16, in the fall of 1978.

In the fall of 1978, I went away to college. When I opened a box of records I had brought, I found that Nathan had put the Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks LP on top. I did listen to it. Then I bought a Clash LP. Then The Buzzcocks, and XTC. By the time I had started a band (The Front Lines) in college in the spring, we were playing Sex Pistols, Clash, Ramones, and Elvis Costello songs, in addition to the classics, such as Dylan, Hendrix, Stones, Who, Zeppelin, and Chuck Berry. We renamed the Sex Pistols song “God Save the Dean”.

That summer back home, a couple of neighborhood bands played in a detached garage on my block. The first band was the host’s (Bryan Fox?) band. I only remember them playing “Tush” by ZZ Top. Next was The Slinkees, which was the precursor to The Teen Idles, but with Mark Sullivan singing. I remember them playing a parody of “Free Bird” called “Dead Bird,” with Sullivan shouting at the end.

Sullivan went away to college that fall, and Nathan became the singer for the band, who took a new name, The Teen Idles, for whom Slinkees bassist Ian MacKaye also played (and later went on to form Minor Threat and Fugazi). For details, see the website for Dischord, the independent record company that The Teen Idles started. 

My mom, Jody, let Nathan’s bands practice in the basement. (I should say that by this time our parents had divorced.) She would say that she filtered out the music, but one time they were practicing “Do You Love Me?” by The Contours. I was upstairs with her, and she comically rolls her eyes and says “Yes, already.” Eventually, Nathan invited other bands to rehearse in the basement, but State of Alert (S.O.A.) was one band too many for Jody. From then on, her child had to be in the band for it to rehearse there. The singer of S.O.A. was Henry Rollins, known then as Henry Garfield, who I remember stage-diving at a show with no one catching him. 

For sophomore winter break, I went home. The Teen Idles were having their first gig in our basement. I went downstairs with my long hair and a drink in my hand. It is not a large basement and didn’t take much to be crowded. I was leaning against a post, with people behind me standing and people in front of me dancing. It wasn’t pogoing or slam-dancing; maybe bounce-off-people dancing. Someone threw a beer all over me, and I reflexively threw my drink back. Someone else lunged at me, but he was pulled back by Nathan, who yelled above the song, “No Fun” by The Stooges, “That’s my brother, you idiot!” ðŸ˜Š

By the end of 1980, The Teen Idles had broken up, having released one 8-song EP. Nathan started his next band, Youth Brigade, with his best friend and future best man at his wedding, Danny Ingram, on drums. 

The Teen Idles and Youth Brigade are both considered “hardcore” punk and “straight edge”, the latter meaning abstaining from alcohol and drugs. Songs like “Waste of Time” and even “I Drink Milk” were straight edge songs.  

Photo by Lloyd Wolf, from Banned in DC. Nathan is wearing a sweater Jody knitted under the leather jacket.
Photo by Lloyd Wolf, from Banned in DC.
Nathan is wearing a sweater Jody knitted under the leather jacket.

In the summer of 1981, The Front Lines made a short 7-city tour, stopping in DC to play at the Cellar Door. The band, seven young men including roadie and sound man, slept all around my mom’s house. Unfortunately, Youth Brigade had a gig that same night, so we did not get to see each other’s bands.  

Later that summer, Youth Brigade, Minor Threat, and The Necros played at O’Banion’s in Chicago. Youth Brigade and some of the Necros stayed at Phil (Front Lines singer) and my two-bedroom off-campus apartment in Evanston. (This was the summer between junior and senior of college year for me.) I don’t remember too much of the show, but the Revolutionary Communist Youth Brigade, an actual communist party youth group, showed up, perhaps thinking there was a common interest in Marxist revolution. I remember an argument outside the club afterwards. The RCYB was evangelizing for a revolution, and I think it was Ian who said that if there was a revolution, the RCYB would get their brains bashed in.

Nathan and I have had arguments about music. As I said, I was not converted to punk. I never got the requisite haircut, though my hair kept getting shorter. My problem with punk was that anger is an emotion, but there are other emotions. Nathan didn’t stay 100% into hardcore punk though. He pointed out in the book, Banned in DC, that after slam-dancing took over, the bands got tougher, and the scene got male-dominated and macho. Over the years, he has often sent me mix tapes, later CDs, of bands he wants me to listen to, such as Siouxsie and the Banshees, Midnight Oil, The Rezillos, and more obscure bands. But they weren’t hardcore punk.

As the years went on, I lived in Illinois: Evanston, Chicago, Lisle, Naperville. Usually I would visit DC once (for Christmas) or twice a year. During that time, Nathan sang for Mister Id in 1987, as well as Mercy Bucket in 1988. You might have noticed the pun nature of their band names. Later, he would play bass for Land of the Lost, The Vague Rants, and Dear Season.

In 1989, I attended a Chicago Halloween party as Groucho. I got into a conversation with a punkish young woman there. She did not believe that I was Nathan Strejcek’s brother. She knew who he was and thought I was lying to impress her. I showed her my driver’s license to prove it. He was nationally famous, even several years after The Teen Idles and Youth Brigade had disbanded. 

Nathan married, moved out of the city, had a son, divorced, remarried, moved back into the city, got two dogs.

My brother Nathan and sister Mardi with Tundra the puppy.

Nathan can be self-deprecatingly funny. Once, when I was visiting DC with my wife and two sons, he bemusedly told me about fan mail from Brazil – now he was internationally famous! I told my kids that Nathan had been the singer in a famous band. He said, “I wouldn’t call it singing, exactly.”

Fifteen years ago, at our cousin’s wedding in Tennessee, we stayed at the Smokehouse Lodge, which had a tennis court. Nathan has usually been able to beat me at most sports, but I thought he had put on some weight, so I’d have it easier. Nope. Still beat me at tennis. I should say that Jody played tennis, and her father coached high school tennis, and we had lessons, but I still wasn’t any good.

As I said, I wasn’t converted to punk, but in 2010 I did convert to Christianity. I tried using music to witness to Nathan. For example, “The Seeker” or “Bargain” by The Who. No results so far.

A couple of times visiting DC with my wife and kids, we had jam sessions in Jody’s basement. There always seems to be a band set-up there. My kids on drums or guitar, Nathan on bass, me on guitar, both singing “House of the Rising Sun” segueing into “Stepping Stone” (a staple punk cover of The Monkees).

Youth Brigade played a reunion gig promoting the punk documentary film Salad Days at the Black Cat in DC in December 2012. I went with my sister Mardi. It was fun to see Nathan on the stage again. After the show, Nathan complained that jumping was harder than it used to be. Well, he was 50. Ian MacKaye came backstage and recalled the O’Banion’s gig. I told the RCYB story, but what he remembered was that it was supposed to be an all-ages show, and he was pissed that they were only letting adults in.   

Youth Brigade also got back together for a "punk-funk" show with Trouble Funk (DC “go-go” funk band of 80s fame; “Drop the Bomb”) in February of 2013. The “punk-funk” bill has been a cross-cultural, interracial tradition. Minor Threat and Dave Grohl have also played with Trouble Funk. 

Me, Nate, and his son at Morton Arboretum, Lisle, Illinois, August 2018.

Several years ago, my younger son had a girlfriend whose stepdad was awed that Nathan Strejcek was his uncle. My son was impressed. Nathan is still famous. He still gets royalties from Teen Idles and Youth Brigade records. He currently plays bass for The Delarcos (see below).


Happy Birthday, Nathan! 

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

You Can Call Me Grandpa

You can call me grandpa now. 
Yesterday morning, July 16, my first grandchild, Ellis Jack Strejcek, was born to Laura and Conor Strejcek. Here are a few photos:

Ellis





Ellis and Laura
Ellis and Conor
Cathleen and Ellis




Laura, Ellis, and Conor
Kier and Ellis